Too Much Sex Causes Blindness!

I often stated that although I was not given sight, I was blessed with many other gifts one being my wonderful sense of humor. I also often say that there is a major disability missing from among the long list and that is, LOSOH, lack of sense of humor. I feel bad for those people who never laugh and are down all of the time.

It was around 2016 when I came upon this add at the Blind Mice Mega Mall: Too Much Sex Causes Blindness! Spread the word! Tell Everyone how you really lost your eyesight with this fun novelty white T-shirt combo. Get a short sleeve and a long sleeve Too Much Sex Causes Blindness T-shirt! Each shirt has the words "Too Much Sex Causes Blindness" framed by the "Sex Feet" design printed on it in bright red and blue puff print. The puff print allows the totally blind to "see" the design by touch! These white T-shirts are 6.1-ounce heavy weight 100% preshrunk Cotton T-shirts; one short and one long sleeve shirt. Design description: The text, "Too Much SEX Causes Blindness", is printed on four lines that are center justified. The words "Too Much" are on the top line in royal blue lettering that is about an inch tall. The word "SEX" jumps out from the second line in bright red letters that are about three inches high. The third line has the word "causes" in blue puff print in letters that are about an inch tall the same size as the top line. The bottom line has the word "Blindness" in bright red letters that are a little larger than 2 inches high. All this text is centered inside a border that frames it. The boarder is made up of the "Sex Feet" design The Sex Feet are about an inch high and create a frame around the words as the design is repeated all the way around the text. They really dress up and add a little charm to the design. Description of "Sex Feet" design: The Sex Feet are 2 sets of footprints with one pair inside the other pair. The pair inside is pointing down and the second pair, with one footprint on each side of the inside pair is pointing up. Looking at the design gives the illusion of one person laying on top of the other with the person on top laying inside of the legs of the person on the bottom. (Now you know why these are called "Sex Feet"! (smile) There is a right footprint pointing up, then a left footprint pointing down, then a right footprint pointing down, and then a left footprint pointing up! The entire design is printed in puff print so you can feel them and see what they look like! The outside footprints, the ones pointing up, are in bright red and the inside footprints, the ones pointing down, are in royal blue! The logo is printed on the front of the shirt and measures roughly 12 by 14 inches.

Well, I showed the add to my wife while laughing. She was not really amused and said "you are not getting that shirt!" I then shared the add with a few friends including Pastor Jim, my pastor at the time. He said " That shirt is hilarious, I kind of wish that I was blind so that I could wear it."

A few days later at a Bible study meeting there were three men and nine women attending. Karen was unable to attend, so I was left on my own. At the conclusion of the meeting Pastor Jim asked me to tell them about the hilarious t-shirt. What is really funny was after I described the shirt, all of the women unanimously told me that I had to get that shirt.

When I walked back into my home, grinning, I said "Karen, you are overruled, when all of the women at Bible study told me I have to get that shirt, you are overruled." I am quite sure that she really was not pleased or on-board with the concept. I went to my computer to order the shirts, I’m glad that I memorized the credit card information, I wonder if she would have read the information off for me?

After I had it for a short time, she finally got over the social embarrassment and now enjoys watching the reaction of people especially when they read my shirt and get a big smile on their face What is really funny is that most women just really start laughing and most men say "Well, I’ll never go blind!"

I have had several nurses and other women thank me for wearing the shirt. They told me that it is great that I can laugh and talk about a major disability when most people can’t or won’t talk about it. My favorite place to wear it is in doctor offices or medical facilities. I don’t think that anyone is really happy to be there and the combination of my shirt and guide dog brings a smile to their faces. One or the other starts a conversation and other patients tend to forget why they are there, at least for a little while.

I also locally have a hat printed which reads "Blind people feel better." It is kind of funny that many do not understand the pun. I have had people ask why do I feel good about being blind?” I have to try to come up with a snarky answer for that question. I sometimes tell people that the shirt explains the hat, that is why blind people feel better.